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Stephen Drops An AFT That Explains The NFT Craze

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( Ovations AND APPLAUSE) WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY! JON, TONIGHT WE’VE GOT TWO OF MYFAVORITE GUESTS. WE HAVE THE LOVELY AND TALENTEDANDREW GARFIELD IS GOING TO BE HERE TONIGHT. REALLY LOVELY. AND THIS GUY JUST MAKES ME FEELGOOD, HE’S FUNNY, TALENTED, VERY GOOD MAN, JOSE ANDRES FROM WORCENTRAL KITCHEN. >> Jon: HE Devotes BACK. INCREDIBLE. >> Stephen: DO YOU KNOW WHATWE’RE COOKING? YOU DON’T KNOW. ARE YOU GOING TO COOK ENOUGH FOREVERYBODY? YEAH, WE WILL. >> Jon: OH, YEAH! EVERYBODY GETS SOME. >> Stephen: IS THAT TRUE? THAT’S NOT TRUE. ALL RIGHT.( LAUGHTER) ANYWAY, IT’S GOING TO BE GOOD. Tribes, AS YOU KNOW, I LOVE TOSTAY ON TOP OF ALL THE NEW HOTTEST INTERNET TRENDS. I WAS CLIMBING INTO RANDOMSTRANGERS’ Gondolas BEFORE UBER WAS EVEN A THING. FOR A COUPLE YEARS NOW, ONE OFTHE HOT FINANCIAL TRENDS ON THE INTERNET IS N.F.T.S, ORNON-FUNGIBLE TOKENS.CONFUSED AS TO WHAT THEY ARE? THAT MIGHT BE BECAUSE EVERYONEWHO TRIES TO DEFINE THEM DOES A TERRIBLE JOB. FOR INSTANCE, ACCORDING TO ONEPLACE ON THE INTERNET, AN N.F.T. IS A DIGITAL GOOD THAT LIVES ONTHE ETHEREUM BLOCKCHAIN.’ CUZ NOTHING CLEARS THINGS UFASTER LIKE MENTIONING T THE ETHEREUM BLOCKCHAIN. I THINK YOU GET THERE THROUGHTHE NARNIA BLOODGATE. SO, HERE’S MY EXPLANATION: YOU KNOW HOW IN THE REAL WORLD YOU LIKE A WORK OF ART, YOU CANBUY IT AND IT’S YOURS? AN N.F.T.IS THE WAY TO DO WITHSOMETHING DIGITAL. YOU SEE SOMETHING YOU LIKEONLINE BUT RATHER THAN BUY IT PHYSICALLY, YOU GO TO AN ONLINEMARKETPLACE AND BUY THE DIGITAL ORIGINAL FROM THE OWNER, STAMPEDWITH A UNIQUE DIGITAL CODE AND THE OBJECT OR TOKEN IS STORED ONSOMETHING CALLED A BLOCKCHAIN, A SECURE, PERMANENT, DECENTRALIZEDLEDGER THAT KEEPS TRACK OF WHO OWNS WHAT AND WHERE TRANSACTIONSCAN BE ADDED BUT DATA CAN NEVER BE ERASED. ANYTHING WITH A DIGITALFOOTPRINT CAN TECHNICALLY BE SOLD AS AN N.F.T. WHEW! IS THIS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BEJOHN OLIVER? BLIMEY. NOW I GET WHY HE ONLY DOES ONESHOW A WEEK.NOW, THERE’S REAL MONEY BEINGSPENT ON THIS FAKE STUFF. SOME NOTABLE N.F.T. SALESINCLUDE GUCCI GHOST, WHICH Sell off A COOL $ 3,600. THE FAMOUS DISASTER GIRL PHOTOFOR $ 500,000, AND EARLY INTERNET MEME NYAN CAT, ALMOST $ 600,000. NYAN CAT IS, OF COURSE, A MEMEOF A CAT WITH A POP-TART BODY, PRANCING THROUGH SPACE, WITHRAINBOWS FLYING OUT ITS BUTT. WHICH MAKES SLIGHTLY MORE SENSETO ME THAN THE CONCEPT OF N.F.T.’S. MAYBE THE STRANGEST EXAMPLE OFAN N.F.T.IS RAPPER AZEALIA BANKS RELEASING AN N.F.T. SEXTAPE. OK, I THOUGHT THESE THINGS WERENON FUNGIBLE. A SEX S TWO PEOPLE FUNG-ING EACHOTHER. TO BE CLEAR, AZEALIA’S N.F.T. ISSTRICTLY AN AUDIO SEX-TAPE, NAMED “I( BLEEP) ED RYDER RIPPS, “HEY, SPOILER ALERT YOU CAN’T GIVE AWAY ALL THE DETAILS IN THETITLE. ORSON WELLES DIDN’T NAME HISCLASSIC MOVIE ROSEBUD IS THE SLED. AND I( BLEEP) ED IT. SO, I’M STILL NOT QUITE SOLD ONN.F.T.S. BUT, IF YOU LIKED MY EXPLANATIONOF WHAT N.F.T.s WERE THAT WE SHOWED A WHILE AGO, I HAVE GREATNEWS. I HAVE WRITTEN THAT EXPLANATIONALL OUT ON THE DELIVERY BAG THAT MY LUNCH CAME IN TODAY. AND I’M SELLING MY HANDWRITTENEXPLANATION OF N.F.T.’S AS THE WORLD’S FIRST A.F.T ., OR, “ACTUAL( BLEEP) ING THING.”( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) SALMON? SALMON, MMM. YOU CAN BID ON IT ATWWW.COLBERTLATESHOW.COM/ EBAY PROCEEDS WILL GO TO DONORSCHOOSE.YOU’LL HELP FUND CLASSROOMSWHERE KIDS CAN LEARN IMPORTANT STUFF –( APPLAUSE) THEY CAN LEARN IMPORTANT STUFFLIKE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THINGS THAT EXIST ANDTHINGS THAT DON’T. WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH ANDREWGARFIELD.( Claps AND APPLAUSE )( BAND PLAYING ).

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